Thursday, March 5, 2009

Loo and Behold

Since, am currently weighing my options of going to India for good against staying in Singapore for few more months,me and my friend were discussing the advantages of one country over the other.
For starters, we started on this very interesting topic : Loo
Defined: a closed space to fulfil your very natural biological reaction.
The perspective at which these two countries look at the loo is quite different. Like they say good manner starts from the family,I guess Loo manners also start from the family.
In India,The child is asked to go to the loo quietly without asking for any kind of permission.
Generally parents are quite keen about the movements of the kids and thus ask the kid where she/he is going and if they find out its loo, the child is asked to just shut up and go.
I wonder why our government considers going to the Loo, such a taboo.
Cause every time you need to leave the house, you have to make sure that you empty your bladder. Its a house thingly only. Do it in your house only you know.
And men enjoy a different kind of freedom in loo manners.
They twist the definition of loo a little and remove the two terms: closed space.
They are not quite that bad. They do not make it open, they remove three walls of a closed space.Here, sometimes government takes initiative and sends a guy to paint “do not p*** here” on the wall. That guy needs to be paid the highest compensation in Indian history for the daredevil job.Due to continuous flow on the wall, the word Not disappears after a while, which stimultes an urge when read.
Now,now, even if you find a loo somewhere :
1. there are inbuilt inhibitions in the heart which keep sending stimulus to the brain like: a little more time, you are going home
2. there are no tissue papers. cut the cost of a tissue paper, employ a watch man /watch woman who wants to know wether you are going to p***/s*** inside those four walls (as if she is conducting a survey of indian p***/s*** habits and their timings) and charges a little more than usual to the former biological reaction and a little exhorbitant for the latter.Now you might wonder, how on earth the watch man/woman gets to know what happens inside the four walls. He/She keeps a note of time and takes no inhibitions in asking if you were really P***/S*** ing inside. Now, now, now p***/s*** ing is NOT for free my dear. The tax you pay is not counted for your p*** and s***
3. Ofcourse, the stink. The watch man/woman outside is someone sitting there and making free money. They are not supposed to clean the loo. Upon asked, you might be asked to cleanit yourself in return. There are no exhaust fans. There is this circular hole on the upper portion of the wall which leaves you wondering, if the whole itself functions as a circulator of air(inner to out and out to inner) That ways you can spot or rather smell a public loo from distance
4. There are no flushes. If you strongly believe in the phrase"the one who came last made the loo dirty" you will end up cleaning a lot of people's biological waste
5. There is not a single mirror any where. It's probably lying on the walls of the watch man's/watch woman's home.
6. There is no hand dryer. You are supposed to rub your hands on the side of your thighs. Hell yea...thats why you are wearing clothes.
7. There is no light. The exhaust hole radiates a beam of light. What do you need light for????? Finish you work and be happy
8. Loo is the place for people to be creative. They bring out the best of erotic fiction. DO NOT GO TO THE PUBLIC LOO IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN WITH YOU, else you might just have to end up giving a lecture on the laws of nature or end up creating a creative sci -fi
AND FINALLY....if you encounter any of the above seven, you are one lucky soul cause the watchman/woman usually lock the loo and misplace the key on Day 1 of their work or the inaugral of the loo (whichever is the earliest)and are snoring at their home